Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
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