Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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