He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
