i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
