You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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