the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
