small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
