i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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