There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
