guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
