Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
