i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Randomize
