So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
