I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
how do you play pong handcuffed?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
