I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
