there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
