didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
