just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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