Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize