There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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