I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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