I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
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he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
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We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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