and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
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bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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