we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
