you have to choose: penises or morals?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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