I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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