I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Houston, we have a blender
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
