they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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