those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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