My hand turned me down
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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