I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
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Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
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Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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