I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
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My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
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VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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