id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
