just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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