Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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