He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
