After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
