is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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