who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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