So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
