whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
