she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
