Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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