When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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