I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
