hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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