I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
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I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
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You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Shame - the story of my life.
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