u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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