I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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