i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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