Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
