Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
