My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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