i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
