He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
