Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
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I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
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As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
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