lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
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Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
