bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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