She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You ruined the universe
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
