STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
