he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
So many bounce houses so little time
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
