We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
